morgan :]&<3

this is stupid and unfair. it all is.

for one. i didnt mess up like they said i did. i double checked like 2193820 times. GOD FORBID a girl whose younger than them (omg!!) does something. i mean, because im morgan and im only gonna be a sophmore and im a girl, i, apperently, am not as important. right? i mean , so forget me trying to actually do something. oh no! this is his job, rememeber? god he makes me SOOOOOOO mad.

seniors graduated today.. =(

i need to talk to mike cruoglio before i leave. i need to get something outta my head, and hes the one i think can help me. but yesterdday he was out and i didnt wanna bother him. and today he had graduation so, yeah.. maybe later tongiht. i hope i can. because idk what to do, and im kindaa freaking out..

i leave tomorow. i swear ill be gone till FOREVER. godd. i dont wanna go to a stupid family reunion. its gonna be dumb. im gonna be in nowhere's ville with no anything. i dont even get a room. i sleep in a camper! whatever. me and jay will ditch alot.

i was asked to go to dma with christina inteso rather than section leader camp. i may go, except im supposed to go to maryland. but pete is going down a few days late, so i may hitch a ride with him and tim.. that could work..

it doesnt feel like summer.

im mad i cant go out tonight. i wanna see my freinds before i leave, but i cant. god. stupid parents...

i tie dyed shirts. it was a messss.

i am a mess.

i miss eighth gradee

- i was bored

1. still talk to the person you first kissed?
yes.

2. Have you ever seen your best friend cry?
too many times to count.

3. What kind of vitamins did you take as a kid?
flinstones or the gummy bear kinds at melissas house

4. What was the last food you ate?
a peannut butter sandwhich

5. Did you get any compliments today?
yes

7. Whats the fifth text message in your inbox say?
he said he doesnt know if thats exactly when hes getting out

8. Are you friends with your neighbors?
no not at all

10. What languages do your parents speak?
english

11. What towns have you lived in?
toms river

12. What's the last piercing you got?
my ears when i was 12

14. Do you get distracted easily?
yes. phil says i have ADD

16. Do you get jealous easily?
yes

18. Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?
yes

20. Have you ever had a crush on your brother or sister's friends?
no

21. Have you ever gone to a beach?
yes

22. Have you ever had a stalker?
nope

23. Do you remember your music teacher's name from elementry?
miss delucci. but now shes at hse

24. How good is your eyesight?
haha terrible, im like blind

25. Have you ever gone to a party?
yeppp

26. Would you ever want to swim with the sharks?
yes

27. What would you say if I told you I was in love with your brother?
thats weirdd

28. Have you ever been out of the country?
nopee

29. Have you seen one of your best friends naked?
no

30. What's the best wedding you've been to?
i dont think ive ever been to a wedding

31. Would your parents be mad if you got arrested for fighting?
yes

32. Where are your sibling(s) right now?
downstairs

34. What's the last dream you can remember?
last nights dream with phil and mike hahha

35. Who was the last person who called you?
phil

36. What time did you wake up this morning?
6.15

37. What are you doing this weekend?
ughh im going away to stupid nc!

38. What does the 13th text message in your inbox say?
i have that song on my ipod!

39. What is the last item of clothing you bought?
ahh! my keds sneakers!

40. When was the last time you were sick?
i dont rememeber

41. Who's the last celebrity you touched?
phil shore

42. What's in your back pocket?
im wearing basketball shorts

43. Who is the last person you took a picture with?
with?
phil and mike

44. What is the last thing you drank?
coke

45. Last person you hugged?
gabby

46. Do you wear colored contacts?
no just normal ones

47. What were you doing at 4am this morning?
sleeping

48. Have you ever kissed someone on a day?
yess. hahaha


1. Would you kiss the last person you kissed, again?
uh i dont think so..

2. Have you told anyone you'd marry them?
no but i should

3. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt?
no

4. Have you ever made a b/f g/f cry?
dont think so.

5. Are you happier single or in a relationship?
either way

6. Have you ever told someone you loved them and didn't mean it?
yupp

7. Have you ever had your heart broken?
partially

8. Have you ever broken someone elses heart?
yes

9. Talk to any of your exes?
barely

10. Last time you kissed someone on lips?
truth or dare

11.If you could go back in time and change things, would you...?
yes

12. Do you think your a good bf/gf?
hahahh NO

13. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
no

14.Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend?
yes

15. Like anyone right now?
yes

16. Like anyone in school?
yes

17. Does that person like you back?
haha NO

18. What are you going to do tonight?
sleepover i believe

19. How do you feel right now?
tired

so i feel like im taking after kristin oconnell...


me and my freinds went on my boat and we decided we were pirates.

we even got my dad to agree to making up a scavenger hunt for us.

lol

i love life and the feeling of i t being summer time.

so last night was the banquet for band. it was fun. i won band optimist. and me and gabb won best freinds =))). we were sooo excited. hahaha i fell walking up to the stage twice. hahahha. whateverrrrrrr.

i was sad to say goodbye to desmond and taffrow and gilbert and emily..

so then we came back here to my house. it was funnn.

i got mad at phil towards the end of the night bc i realized hes leaving for college. but he wont stay. uhfgoai;wuehfr. god.

me phil and mike took a bunch of pictures. i looked at them. there funny.im glad i have pictures with them.

my parents said im allowed to go to boston for a weekend next year. thats good. i didnt think theyd let me. phil was like i tol d you sooo. so im going to visit him with mike for a weekend

i have a soccer game today.

so yesterday i hung out with mike and webb for a little, then came home

didnt go to jimmys like all my freinds did, and i cant say i minded. i hung out with gabby stace rachel and melissa for gabbys bday.

we went to applebees, then hung out here.

now, these girls, last summer, we were INSEPRATEABLE. like, everyday during the summer we hung out. i havent hung out with them since december, but i had more fun last night than ive had with anyone else in a longggg long time.

its weird, bc im different with them. with phil an dmike and kristen and audrey and jimmy and webb and dipp and ketih, im really loud. im annoying. im immature. silly. sometimes, dumb. i cant sit still, i cant have serious convorsations. but with those girls, im so opposite. like yeah, im loud, but not super loud, you know? i laugh a lot more. smile a lot more. im not as silly. i have more of a strong oppinion. im more serious. i know i can go to them with ANYTHING, were with my freinds from band, im not so sure. i dc about looking stupipd or immature. like for instance. me and rachel and stace were hanging around, and i confessed how scareed i was of something. and the two of them looked at me and werere like no way, we are too. but if i said something like that to someone else, theyd laugh..

i really cant wait for summer. i cant wait to have sleepovers with those girls. i cant wait to be carefree the way i was last night.

thats another thing. with them, im carefree. i dont worry about what my parents think of them, because they love them. i dont constantly text people. im very content and happy in the moment. i dont worry about how i look in something, or is my hair messed up? im laid back. i dont gossip with them. people think i gossip alot and tell and knnow secrets, well with them, i dont. at all. we talk about each other's lives freindships, boys. families. not other peoples

okay, just had to get that out

kpeace<3

p.s. band banquet tonight

haha okay, so the last entry i was a little upset..
but im good now, lol.

lets see. where to start.

sunday. had a soccer game. won 6-0. were still tied for first with freehold, we both have the record 6-1-1. we tied each other.

went on a feild trip with jimmy audrey and kristen milos. it was super fuunn. kristen milos fell off of a merry go round. hahaha. it was fun though.

monday. didnt wanna go to school, but i did.

tuesday. school aagain.. garden state concert.

today wass school. we got yearbooks. mike wrote a really nice comment in mine. so did phil. to think that they can be nice and not sarcastic still amazes me.. lol.. p..s. idk how to spell that.

oh! I GOT SECTION LEADER!!!!! i was sooooo happppppppppyy.

lol.

so tomorow im oging out with my aunt. she is in from san fransisco. were gonna go take pictures. im so excited. i love her.

im probably forgetting something mad important.. okay peace<3

okay, so im totally freaking out..

lemme start from the beginning.


last night, went to the band meeting, got me super siked. idk why. went to trd, then kj's. played manhunt. slept over kristens, it was really fun. we stayed up tilll like 3 watching old feild shows and talking about everythingg.. it was good. then woke up and went t o the parade. came home. went out with my freinds from eight grade to see pirates of the carribean 3, it was really goood.

those girls from eigth grade, i forgot how close i am with them. liike we all havent chilled since like christmas, but we just fell back into place, like no time passed. i love it.

okay. but im freaking out so..

we went to this "party" it was at the beach, kind of celebrating matt's death, like a year. and i was fine, i wasnt sad. this is what matt would want to look down from heaven and see. i konw that is totally true. but i still was kinda iffy about the hole party. i mean celebrating his death? but it is good because we were all together, and bes t of all, luke and nick werent alone.

so we lefta nd went to relay for life at brick, where cara is.

i broke down.

now, i dont cry. ever. seriously. like its a big deal for me to cry. cara was like AH morg, this is like the 3rd time ive seen you cry without being hurt. so like come august when im saying goodbye to phil and kristen, i honestly dont know if i will cry.

but like i started cryingg. like hysterical. it just hit me today, a year after he died, that he is never coming back. ever. we went to the cemetery and it was like a slap in the face. thinking "omg, ill never hear his voice again" ever. its so hard, bc. ive allways been cool about it.

even today at band, i acted totally normal, besides being tired. but inside, i was freaking out. i kept thinking, im here having so much fun with my freinds, and hes dead. hes dead. he didnt beat luekemia. he died. he lost the fight. i keep repeating it over and over. bc i am just now realizing omg, hes gone forever.

so now my parents are in bed and im cryinga gain. and i want to talk to someone but theres noone. cara is with her freinds at relay,gabby already tried to help, but i dont need sympathy and its okay, i just need sopmeone to listen. dont get me wrong, i love her. i wanted to maybe talk to phil, but he's not online. omg. i hate thisss.

ii cant talk t o my family. its weird. i hate crying in front of them. i hateeee it. i have this idea that in my head, i have to always be strong and never cry. tears= weakness. weakkness= bad.

i was thinking about i m ing deanna, but i dont wanna bother her. and i know this is mean, but i would care if i kept phil up all night bc idk i just wouldnt. i am comfortable with him telling him stuff, but hes not online. i wouldda talked to mike but he isnt online either.

i am a wreck. i have never ever been like this. i dont cry. im morgan. it doesnt happen. im ALWAYS happy. rmemeber? god. im the one who always smiles, not cries. what is wrong with mee.

i cant belieeve hes been gone a whole year. im here on earth enjoying my life and freinds and everything, and hes dead. gone. his brothers have to deal with him dying. thats a heavy burden for young kids. why am i suddenly so distraught?


if you read that all... well.. your dumb.

i keep smilling, and idk whyy.

i realize that some people dont like me.
and i dont have alot of freinds. just a bunch of close ones.
and im totally fine with it..

id rather act immature retarded and spaztic and have fun with best freinds
than be the way popular people are and have no fun.

okay, so on sunday morning, after four hours of sleep, i went to the beach house. its this tiny little house that cara's grandparents two cousins and a bunch of aunts and uncles and paretns rent. and bc. im her best freind and i fit iin, i go everyyear for a day, while everyobne else stays for a bunch of days.

OMGOMGOMG. it was sooo fun. i love mattt, her cousin. he' s a freshman. he lives in scotch plains. he's in band hahaha. pit too! what do you know? but hes funny and nice. and brian is a freshman at drexel university. matts' brother. hes super cool. but, ive known them both for EVER.

hung out with gene and mike alst night.

today, band GAY. then kristen milos came over. we went tubing and hung out. it was so fun. we talked alot. we are so beast at tubing. we tried to do it nno hands style. then we swam. it was mad fun. AHAHAH were having a slumber party friday night =))))) superr coooolll.


web and jimmy came over. we shaved jimmys head.

now im here. i need to do two bio essays. tomorow i have some interview, a banquet, garden state. funnnn

okay peace<3.

prom was soooo funn.

okay, so at like six, i went to ashley's for picturees. bllahhh. it took forever.

got there, danced alot. i love dancing, even though i always look retardded, but wahatever, il live, its fun.

then after wards, we went to ashley gibson's house. we had a fire and made smores. then we slept in the camper. i cept callinmg jimmy and rob marucca. hahahahaha.and i tried to talk to mike but he was just like "is deanna there" hahah.

now i probably should put more detail into my stories, but aunt nancy is picking me up in ten minutes to go to the beach house, and im not dressed.

OH MY GOD. my block is CONTAMINATED. bennies. a billion stupid TOURISTS. everyone rents out there housess, so there all down. sadofihawefjho i hate them, i hope they go back to new york. stupiddd.

so yesterday, everyone came over here. deanna mike keith kj kristen and jimmy. we all went on my daad's boat, i drove. i didnt do badly. then phil came a little later after his date with emily.

so we played manhunt, rode bicycles. fun stuff

me and kristen talked alot. before everyone came and then bike riding, it was fun. i havent talked to her for a whileee.

everyone left at about 11.30. i wanted to sleepover kj's house, but i wasnt allowed.

phil stayed and hung out with me and my dad, haha. no lie, me him and my dad sat in the kitchen and talked. it was suprizingly normal. it was the first time in a while i havent felt wierd around him. it made me realllllly happy to just goof around. although, he finished the rest of the iced tea!!! stupidd. then he kept hitting me with the empty bottle.

now im curling my hair for junior prom. then im sleeping over ashley gibsons. were going night swimming =)) then tomoorow im going to the beach house with cara and her parents and cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents. i love their family. i cant wait. i might sleepover. i hope i do.. but we have that stupid parade on monday.

i need to figure out how to do my make upo for prom... maybe ill call kristin ocoonell. i dont wanna bother her though.. idk. maybe i wont wear make up..idkk.

ahhh i love my dress. its steph scavuzzo's. its bright orange and stapless. the back is all criss-crossy. and the front has sequencee. i LOVE IT. but i havto wear heals.. GAY. but i love my date <33

okay, g2g, peace<3

okay soo friday night i went out with jimmy, and cause everyone was at prom, it was just us. we got lost in manalocking? idk where. but we talked alot, and it was fun.

phil's still mad at me, im beginning not to care.

jimmy and keith just left. im not allowed out, but they came over. we played monopoly. i won. jimmys coming back later.

okay, so i gotta finish moving my stuff. peace<3.

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: morgan
Birthday: august 14
Birthplace: brick
Current Location: toms river
Eye Color: hazel
Hair Color: brown
Height: five foot four
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: irish, scottish, lithuanian
The Shoes You Wore Today: keds
Your Weakness: being tickled
Your Fears: having no freinds and spiders
Your Perfect Pizza: cheese
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: get section leader
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: true
Thoughts First Waking Up: i dont wanna go to schooooool.
Your Best Physical Feature: hairr.
Your Bedtime: ten
Your Most Missed Memory: this one time at jimmys house.
Pepsi or Coke: cokeee.
MacDonalds or Burger King: mcdonalds
Single or Group Dates: group
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: neitherr
Do you Smoke: no sir!
Do you Swear: sometimes
Do you Sing: all the time
Do you Shower Daily: yes sir
Have you Been in Love: no, not at all.
Do you want to go to College: yess.
Do you want to get Married: yeeaah.
Do you belive in yourself: depends on the day
Do you get Motion Sickness: kind of.
Do you think you are Attractive: sometimes
Are you a Health Freak: no, not at all.
Do you get along with your Parents: neverrr.
Do you like Thunderstorms: yess
Do you play an Instrument: yess, multiple.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: no, never
In the past month have you Smoked: no
In the past month have you been on Drugs: no
In the past month have you gone on a Date: no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: no
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes
In the past month have you been on Stage: yes
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no
Ever been Drunk: no
Ever been called a Tease: ...no?
Ever been Beaten up: no
Ever Shoplifted: no
How do you want to Die: something where i know in advance
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: a preschool teacher
What country would you most like to Visit: germany i think, or spain
In a Boy/Girl..
Favorite Eye Color: brown
Favorite Hair Color: darrk
Short or Long Hair: long
Height: tall
Weight: sport-ish
Best Clothing Style: noo ghetto crap
Number of Drugs I have taken: none
Number of CDs I own: too many to count
Number of Piercings: two
Number of Tattoos: none
Number of things in my Past I Regret: three

i was bored.

great.
so he's mad at me and probably hates me.
whatever.
he's leaving in a couple of months.
maybe it will make saying goodbye easier.

lkshgazuhdf.

i hateeee it when people are mad at me and i dont even know why.

gayy.

hmmmmm.

we played central today. it was good. won 7-5. but i t was hott, smokey from the big fire, and my alergies had a feild day. it looked like i aws crying, it was pretty bad how much pollen there was. started, so i was happy. playe d most of the game..

pretty sure phil is mad at me, which sucks. but you know? i tried tellinghim a while ago on my own, and it didnt work. plus, i ddint say anyhting. mike and jimmy came into lunch and were like whats with your arm, they noticed. its not even that badd.. i hope he isnt mad at me, like reaaaaaaaaaaaaly bad, because hes one of my best freinds.

saw my familllyy a couple of days ago. me and pete and em and jacque went to pick up dinner. its weird, we can just drive ourselves. i love it. were all so close still.

jill graduated from nyu with a 3.8 gpa. talk about insane?

so this weekend is seniro prom. me and jimmy are hanging out majority of the time. and the other things is im redoing my room. lime green walls. new furnitture! yyayayay =))))

i realized i reallllllly cant wait to go rafting. isnt that coming up? i hope soooooo. i love it. we leave at nine, stop for ice cream for the kids and more beer for the parents (at this time, the parents are allready drunk) at like eleven. at noon, lunch. home by four. uhhh its the besttt.

im so different when im with my family. im carefree and mature at the same time. i actaully act smart. i dont feel like i need to impress anyone. i wish i was like that around the people who i hang out with all the time.. meaning mike kristen phil jimmy keith... but im not. i act really different. i act stupid dumb anooying and immature. idk, i like the way i am with my family more so that with my freinds. i think im a better person with them. i dont care about what people think of me then.

im good freinds with tori now. im glad. we were close last year and we just started talking again...

okay, well. homework now. k peace<3.

so much to say...
...no time.

9287833724.3429378 million tons of homework = maddd gayyyyy.

so , yeah. i need a dress for junior prom with ashley. i got offers to borrow from deanna suzy my cousin and ashely gibson. oh, and dippy. too bad dippys a size -23847. ill probably see if i can borrow deannas.

i wish phil would come online so i could make him pick me up and go to the library. i have like two month over due books.


i hate being hit. no, thats not true. i dont mind if a boy jokes around. i dont even care if its a little hard. but i got hit eight period a billion times. i already have a bruise on my arm, and one realllllly hard on the nose. my eyes started watering up because it was my nose, and they do that. i wasss REALLYL mad. i told my mom, and shes like oh, those boys, and laughed! i swear to god. she trusts them allll sooo much. mike and phil. i swear to god, if she could she would trade them for me. she loves them. i was grownded saturday, and low and behold, they were allowed over. i swear. she gets grapes at the store for phil, and for a while my dad made mike a sandwhich everyday in my lunch. phil came over first on saturday with jimmy at three and made himself a sandwhich. guesse what! he got to have a gatorade. now me and jay are only allowed to have them at soccer games, but phil, whenever he pleases.

enough ranting. peacee<3