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Jun. 14th, 2007

(no subject)

this is stupid and unfair. it all is.

for one. i didnt mess up like they said i did. i double checked like 2193820 times. GOD FORBID a girl whose younger than them (omg!!) does something. i mean, because im morgan and im only gonna be a sophmore and im a girl, i, apperently, am not as important. right? i mean , so forget me trying to actually do something. oh no! this is his job, rememeber? god he makes me SOOOOOOO mad.

seniors graduated today.. =(

i need to talk to mike cruoglio before i leave. i need to get something outta my head, and hes the one i think can help me. but yesterdday he was out and i didnt wanna bother him. and today he had graduation so, yeah.. maybe later tongiht. i hope i can. because idk what to do, and im kindaa freaking out..

i leave tomorow. i swear ill be gone till FOREVER. godd. i dont wanna go to a stupid family reunion. its gonna be dumb. im gonna be in nowhere's ville with no anything. i dont even get a room. i sleep in a camper! whatever. me and jay will ditch alot.

i was asked to go to dma with christina inteso rather than section leader camp. i may go, except im supposed to go to maryland. but pete is going down a few days late, so i may hitch a ride with him and tim.. that could work..

it doesnt feel like summer.

im mad i cant go out tonight. i wanna see my freinds before i leave, but i cant. god. stupid parents...

i tie dyed shirts. it was a messss.

i am a mess.

Jun. 13th, 2007

(no subject)

i miss eighth gradee

(no subject)

- i was bored

1. still talk to the person you first kissed?

2. Have you ever seen your best friend cry?
too many times to count.

3. What kind of vitamins did you take as a kid?
flinstones or the gummy bear kinds at melissas house

4. What was the last food you ate?
a peannut butter sandwhich

5. Did you get any compliments today?

7. Whats the fifth text message in your inbox say?
he said he doesnt know if thats exactly when hes getting out

8. Are you friends with your neighbors?
no not at all

10. What languages do your parents speak?

11. What towns have you lived in?
toms river

12. What's the last piercing you got?
my ears when i was 12

14. Do you get distracted easily?
yes. phil says i have ADD

16. Do you get jealous easily?

18. Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

20. Have you ever had a crush on your brother or sister's friends?

21. Have you ever gone to a beach?

22. Have you ever had a stalker?

23. Do you remember your music teacher's name from elementry?
miss delucci. but now shes at hse

24. How good is your eyesight?
haha terrible, im like blind

25. Have you ever gone to a party?

26. Would you ever want to swim with the sharks?

27. What would you say if I told you I was in love with your brother?
thats weirdd

28. Have you ever been out of the country?

29. Have you seen one of your best friends naked?

30. What's the best wedding you've been to?
i dont think ive ever been to a wedding

31. Would your parents be mad if you got arrested for fighting?

32. Where are your sibling(s) right now?

34. What's the last dream you can remember?
last nights dream with phil and mike hahha

35. Who was the last person who called you?

36. What time did you wake up this morning?

37. What are you doing this weekend?
ughh im going away to stupid nc!

38. What does the 13th text message in your inbox say?
i have that song on my ipod!

39. What is the last item of clothing you bought?
ahh! my keds sneakers!

40. When was the last time you were sick?
i dont rememeber

41. Who's the last celebrity you touched?
phil shore

42. What's in your back pocket?
im wearing basketball shorts

43. Who is the last person you took a picture with?
phil and mike

44. What is the last thing you drank?

45. Last person you hugged?

46. Do you wear colored contacts?
no just normal ones

47. What were you doing at 4am this morning?

48. Have you ever kissed someone on a day?
yess. hahaha

1. Would you kiss the last person you kissed, again?
uh i dont think so..

2. Have you told anyone you'd marry them?
no but i should

3. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt?

4. Have you ever made a b/f g/f cry?
dont think so.

5. Are you happier single or in a relationship?
either way

6. Have you ever told someone you loved them and didn't mean it?

7. Have you ever had your heart broken?

8. Have you ever broken someone elses heart?

9. Talk to any of your exes?

10. Last time you kissed someone on lips?
truth or dare

11.If you could go back in time and change things, would you...?

12. Do you think your a good bf/gf?
hahahh NO

13. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

14.Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend?

15. Like anyone right now?

16. Like anyone in school?

17. Does that person like you back?
haha NO

18. What are you going to do tonight?
sleepover i believe

19. How do you feel right now?

Jun. 11th, 2007

(no subject)

so i feel like im taking after kristin oconnell...

me and my freinds went on my boat and we decided we were pirates.

we even got my dad to agree to making up a scavenger hunt for us.


i love life and the feeling of i t being summer time.

Jun. 10th, 2007

(no subject)

so last night was the banquet for band. it was fun. i won band optimist. and me and gabb won best freinds =))). we were sooo excited. hahaha i fell walking up to the stage twice. hahahha. whateverrrrrrr.

i was sad to say goodbye to desmond and taffrow and gilbert and emily..

so then we came back here to my house. it was funnn.

i got mad at phil towards the end of the night bc i realized hes leaving for college. but he wont stay. uhfgoai;wuehfr. god.

me phil and mike took a bunch of pictures. i looked at them. there funny.im glad i have pictures with them.

my parents said im allowed to go to boston for a weekend next year. thats good. i didnt think theyd let me. phil was like i tol d you sooo. so im going to visit him with mike for a weekend

i have a soccer game today.

Jun. 9th, 2007

(no subject)

so yesterday i hung out with mike and webb for a little, then came home

didnt go to jimmys like all my freinds did, and i cant say i minded. i hung out with gabby stace rachel and melissa for gabbys bday.

we went to applebees, then hung out here.

now, these girls, last summer, we were INSEPRATEABLE. like, everyday during the summer we hung out. i havent hung out with them since december, but i had more fun last night than ive had with anyone else in a longggg long time.

its weird, bc im different with them. with phil an dmike and kristen and audrey and jimmy and webb and dipp and ketih, im really loud. im annoying. im immature. silly. sometimes, dumb. i cant sit still, i cant have serious convorsations. but with those girls, im so opposite. like yeah, im loud, but not super loud, you know? i laugh a lot more. smile a lot more. im not as silly. i have more of a strong oppinion. im more serious. i know i can go to them with ANYTHING, were with my freinds from band, im not so sure. i dc about looking stupipd or immature. like for instance. me and rachel and stace were hanging around, and i confessed how scareed i was of something. and the two of them looked at me and werere like no way, we are too. but if i said something like that to someone else, theyd laugh..

i really cant wait for summer. i cant wait to have sleepovers with those girls. i cant wait to be carefree the way i was last night.

thats another thing. with them, im carefree. i dont worry about what my parents think of them, because they love them. i dont constantly text people. im very content and happy in the moment. i dont worry about how i look in something, or is my hair messed up? im laid back. i dont gossip with them. people think i gossip alot and tell and knnow secrets, well with them, i dont. at all. we talk about each other's lives freindships, boys. families. not other peoples

okay, just had to get that out


p.s. band banquet tonight

Jun. 6th, 2007

(no subject)

haha okay, so the last entry i was a little upset..
but im good now, lol.

lets see. where to start.

sunday. had a soccer game. won 6-0. were still tied for first with freehold, we both have the record 6-1-1. we tied each other.

went on a feild trip with jimmy audrey and kristen milos. it was super fuunn. kristen milos fell off of a merry go round. hahaha. it was fun though.

monday. didnt wanna go to school, but i did.

tuesday. school aagain.. garden state concert.

today wass school. we got yearbooks. mike wrote a really nice comment in mine. so did phil. to think that they can be nice and not sarcastic still amazes me.. lol.. p..s. idk how to spell that.

oh! I GOT SECTION LEADER!!!!! i was sooooo happppppppppyy.


so tomorow im oging out with my aunt. she is in from san fransisco. were gonna go take pictures. im so excited. i love her.

im probably forgetting something mad important.. okay peace<3

Jun. 2nd, 2007

(no subject)

okay, so im totally freaking out..

lemme start from the beginning.

last night, went to the band meeting, got me super siked. idk why. went to trd, then kj's. played manhunt. slept over kristens, it was really fun. we stayed up tilll like 3 watching old feild shows and talking about everythingg.. it was good. then woke up and went t o the parade. came home. went out with my freinds from eight grade to see pirates of the carribean 3, it was really goood.

those girls from eigth grade, i forgot how close i am with them. liike we all havent chilled since like christmas, but we just fell back into place, like no time passed. i love it.

okay. but im freaking out so..

we went to this "party" it was at the beach, kind of celebrating matt's death, like a year. and i was fine, i wasnt sad. this is what matt would want to look down from heaven and see. i konw that is totally true. but i still was kinda iffy about the hole party. i mean celebrating his death? but it is good because we were all together, and bes t of all, luke and nick werent alone.

so we lefta nd went to relay for life at brick, where cara is.

i broke down.

now, i dont cry. ever. seriously. like its a big deal for me to cry. cara was like AH morg, this is like the 3rd time ive seen you cry without being hurt. so like come august when im saying goodbye to phil and kristen, i honestly dont know if i will cry.

but like i started cryingg. like hysterical. it just hit me today, a year after he died, that he is never coming back. ever. we went to the cemetery and it was like a slap in the face. thinking "omg, ill never hear his voice again" ever. its so hard, bc. ive allways been cool about it.

even today at band, i acted totally normal, besides being tired. but inside, i was freaking out. i kept thinking, im here having so much fun with my freinds, and hes dead. hes dead. he didnt beat luekemia. he died. he lost the fight. i keep repeating it over and over. bc i am just now realizing omg, hes gone forever.

so now my parents are in bed and im cryinga gain. and i want to talk to someone but theres noone. cara is with her freinds at relay,gabby already tried to help, but i dont need sympathy and its okay, i just need sopmeone to listen. dont get me wrong, i love her. i wanted to maybe talk to phil, but he's not online. omg. i hate thisss.

ii cant talk t o my family. its weird. i hate crying in front of them. i hateeee it. i have this idea that in my head, i have to always be strong and never cry. tears= weakness. weakkness= bad.

i was thinking about i m ing deanna, but i dont wanna bother her. and i know this is mean, but i would care if i kept phil up all night bc idk i just wouldnt. i am comfortable with him telling him stuff, but hes not online. i wouldda talked to mike but he isnt online either.

i am a wreck. i have never ever been like this. i dont cry. im morgan. it doesnt happen. im ALWAYS happy. rmemeber? god. im the one who always smiles, not cries. what is wrong with mee.

i cant belieeve hes been gone a whole year. im here on earth enjoying my life and freinds and everything, and hes dead. gone. his brothers have to deal with him dying. thats a heavy burden for young kids. why am i suddenly so distraught?

if you read that all... well.. your dumb.

May. 31st, 2007

(no subject)

i keep smilling, and idk whyy.

(no subject)

i realize that some people dont like me.
and i dont have alot of freinds. just a bunch of close ones.
and im totally fine with it..

id rather act immature retarded and spaztic and have fun with best freinds
than be the way popular people are and have no fun.

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